little5 (2015-12-31 22:05:35)

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I can't copy anything from the Wattpad website, it would've been way easier for me to highlight mistakes. It is what it is. I read the first page of "Saved From Hell".

First Paragraph:
This is the beginning of the story. It needs to be strong. Not too upfront. Actually, there's nothing wrong with being upfront. It's less juvenile to let introductory details find their ways in, or at least not have them in the very first sentences. Three paragraphs later, Maddie says the main character's name. That's a good place. You should just delete this paragraph alltogether. Maybe merge it with the second?

Second Paragraph:
Yeah, make this the start. Or just the first sentence. There's a ton of grammatical errors, but I'm sure you can find them yourself, right? If you want to introduce some while stating their postion, add a comma.

Tabitha, the "mother", blah blah blah...

(I should also note that punctuation only come before quotation in dialogue)

"I, I, I, I, I," you used "I" way too many times. Like I said before, if it's stylistic, it's fine, but this doesn't flow. Use italics when the character is using their mind voice. "Ugh, Tabitha," in this situation is better than. "I groan. Tabitha, why so early?" I had this problem with my own writing. "I _____ed." It just doesn't sound right unless it can flow.

Also: don't be afraid to proofread. Unless you plan on labelling your story as a oneshot. There's this story I'm writing now, so far I've gone through 6 or 7 versions. Don't make real changes on the same day that you write it. Wait a few days, a week, or month even. Definitely don't publish it, unless for criticism. Wattpad, Deviantart, etc. are all bad communities for that.

I'll add more later.

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phangirl12 (2016-01-01 06:55:23)

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^
Your tip are very helpful! I can't say thank you enough!



The first 4 chapters were writing when I was first starting out on Wattpad,so it's complete

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Perfect_Chaos (2016-01-01 09:33:56)

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^ Bro shut the [aboutdamntimelmao] up

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2016-01-05 03:44:18

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TheIronMadden (2016-01-01 13:00:36)

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brandoin- Too Long; Did not Read!

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PANZERFAUST (2016-01-03 15:55:44)

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^

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phangirl12 (2016-01-04 02:28:08)

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Recently peer edited it with my friend

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phangirl12 (2016-01-19 00:42:41)

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Still waiting and its REALLY hard.



*not a bump*

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phangirl12 (2016-01-26 00:38:29)

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they have announced that they chose 10% of the entries

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