OmegaZero (2016-11-27 07:19:32)

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At a nearby hospital, Kid ran up to a doctor, his paws and tail were shaking. “Well, how is she?” Kid asked a doctor, at the hospital. “…well, she’s going to be alright…well other than a cut mark on her arm.” “A cut?!” X asked. The doctor nodded as he showed Kid a picture “Do you know what this symbol means?” (照明) Kid shook his head no. “I’ll ask her friends.” The doctor handed Kid the photo “Well, I have a question for you.” “Kay?” “What is your name and are you one of the patience’s friends?” Kid looked down “I really don’t like using my name. I always go by Kid or as RM-Rachel calls me, X. and well…” “I’ll answer that question for the science nerd.” A voice spoke behind kid. “I’m spider, a team-mate of Rachel. And Kid here is one of her sibling-like friends.” Kid looked at spider and snarled “YOU WANNA FIGHT, ACHRACHNE?!” “BOTH OF YOU, STOP IT!” Splat glared at Kid and Spider as Undyne said “I CAN FEEL A STRANGE ENERGY NEAR THE OCEAN!”
At the Ocean, Soul was staring at the vast blue water, while holding the crystal, trying to reawaken the water spirt inside the crystal. “Ruwa” He said, so calmly. “What a pretty sunset” Soul said, gazing at the sunset, as it reflected off the water. “The sun is so warm, just like the Mother Elf...Ruwa?” a girl wearing blue appeared behind Soul “Yes…I agree.” “Ruwa, We must prevent the evil from taking over the beautiful scenery here. That’s why I’m collecting the elemental crystals” “To fix your broken body” Soul looked at Ruwa and nodded “Yes but not only that but when it comes time, her electricity powers will be removed from her arsenal of magic attacks. That move is dangerous for a young girl, like her, to have!” “I understand” Soul almost wandered off before he remembered “Oh, Ruwa...I have a question that may...well…should I say…Reopen an old scar?”
Meanwhile with splat and the gang. “What?! A thunder symbol?!” Clay shouted. “Yes…And since there’s two people, who could reopen the old scar embedded in Rachel’s soul, here…actually one right now but…I think…I could…Explain?” Leala, Rachel’s best friend, said. “WELL! WHAT IS IT, GIANT SWORD COOL PERSON?” Undyne shouted, getting a nasty look from Leala. “That’s Leala and well...It happened a long time ago, when Rachel was 8. Rachel and I were training on a volcano when I got ill and…” Leala looked at her paw and shuttered “and…I freaked the poor girl out. She ran off hiding from the noise. Her tail was puffed up like a cat’s tail when they’re scared or startled.” Undyne jumped off of splats head and turned into her warrior form (Like Undyne from Undertale) “Hey, we all-“ Leala snapped “I-I FRIGHTNED RACHEL SO BADLY WHERE NOW SHE CAN’T EVEN HANG OUT WITH ME WITHOUT FREAKING OUT OVER MY PAW! THIS IS WHY WE WEAR GLOVES! THIS IS WHY I USE A GIANT SWORD INSTEAD OF MY DARK POISON MAGIC!” Leala’s paws glowed as she tried to punch Undyne, but she missed. “HA! TRYING TO FIGHT ME?! NGGGGHH!” Undyne summoned her spears as she tried to attack Leala, but Leala countered the spears with her giant sword. “BOTH OF YOU! KNOCK IT OFF!” Splat and Commander Sigs both shouted. Commander Sigs, a small shadowy espeon, snarled “Leala! What has gotten into you?! Normally you would be so calm and collected about this situation but…there’s something bothering you!” Leala looked away as she said “…It’s that…I feel like I lost family members…” Leala started to walk off “I’ll seek advice from…never mind…” Leala ran off before disappearing like a ninja. Drago stared at Undyne before looking at clay. “Clay, is it me or does it feel like Leala could be-“Clay said, excitedly “IMPA!” Kid sighed “Impa, Zero, Matt, Dark Pit, Meta Knight, Shadow and…Darkrai. Most of RMJE’s favorite characters. But what do they have in common?” Sigs nodded, “I agree.” Suddenly the intercom above-head went off “EMERGANCY, TWO OF THE ELEMENT CRYSTALS HAVE BEEN STOLEN! I REPEAT! TWO OF THE ELEMENT CRYSTALS HAVE BEEN STOLEN!” Sigs gasped and ran off, as the little gang looked at each other clay said “That doesn’t sound good!” Splat replies “We should follow him” Noah, Kid, and their partners agreed. So they decided to follow Sigs, curious about the situation.
In an old and abandoned base, soul was staring at a broken monitor when he heard the water cyber elf, Vesi, came in. Soul looked at Vesi and said “Although most of the element protectors have lost their physical bodies. I know that there’s one Element Protector who still has his body. I’ll entrust him to give the crystal to the One who wields many elements. More specifically, my second apprentice.” Vesi squealed when soul said those words to her. Soul looked up in the sky and said “Vesi, I need you to protect this place for me. I’ll need to go to the land of fire to get the next Crystal.” Vesi nodded as Ziemia came over to see the commotion. Just then, Soul disappeared, hunting for the fire crystal.

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2016-11-29 21:01:50

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Moonfeather (2016-11-27 07:27:21)

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I really like this.

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OmegaZero (2016-11-27 07:33:35)

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thanks.

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KidDanger (2016-11-27 12:36:48)

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RMJE I Like It Too

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OmegaZero (2016-11-27 13:06:15)

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Thank you everyone. This means alot to me!

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Dorklard (2016-11-30 20:23:12)

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1/10. Story was kind of all over the place, No world building or character introduction. And Undercancer. please take this cancer back to deviantart or wattpad.

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OmegaZero (2016-11-30 20:25:20)

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I'm sorry that Splat is a real person and that he loves undyne but thats not my problem

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Perfect_Chaos (2016-12-05 05:47:23)

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What dorklard said, it's just not good.

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OmegaZero (2016-12-05 05:56:19)

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Well suck it, princesses. I'm revisising it just so you guys can enjoy it. BTW, I AM NOT REMOVING UNDYNE! Since the charaters Splat, Rachel, Clay, Kid and Noah are based off of real people, I decided to give them a smaller, fairy sized, versions of their favorite charater (that i know of.) and Splats waifu is Undyne so...suck it!

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Dorklard (2016-12-05 18:45:06)

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"Well suck it princesses." Oh, We are pretty princesses now? How kind of you. Allow me to explain why this story was horrid in great detail and why even "revising" it won't help it; The story is already all over the place, Unless you feel like revising the entire plot which would actually be a wonderful idea given how generic this plot is. As for world building, We get near absolutely nothing, The same could be said with character introduction. Hell, The story barely had any introduction we are just thrown into it as some kid is at a hospital. And if its a story based off real people why not make it more realistic? Just a suggestion. And as for the Undercancer, The Undertale fandom is dying out so please don't give it life support. Long story short; 0/10, If your imaginary friend Splat is sexually attracted to a fish he needs mental help.

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OmegaZero (2016-12-06 18:00:46)

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Splat is a real person, But I never revealed his name because he wants his privacy. plus he never like undyne. I thought he did. so I'll have to change his partner but we're deciding on that.

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