Lani (2013-11-12 17:41:31)

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No, this isn't a "OMG stop bullying ppl! ;-;" thread. I believe I have something better in mind, which I believe is important to share with the most of you.

I receive anti-bullying pleads daily; and of course I have no issue with wanting to help people and break up arguments, but this is becoming rather...well, not to sound rude but...pathetic.

True bullying
"Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively to impose domination over others." More specifically, physical abuse. (Assuming we're all familiar with the popular, original "Karate Kid" film; that movie involved the portrayal of true bullying.) As we all know, physical abuse cannot be conflicted through a virtual chatroom. If I remember correctly, people who gain joy from the sadness or frustration of other's within virtual media are known as "trolls." These are not "bullies". The only harm they conflict to you is the harm you LET them conflict. Bullying is not harassment. I've seen teasing, rude remarks, disagreeing with a specific opinion, or conviction of something someone has done wrong, to be considered as bullying; and NONE of that is true bullying. Just because someone upsets you does not mean they are a bully; it just means you're probably lacking a back bone. I'm not defending rude/mean people who tease and insult, but it's not a crime.

Dealing with 'Trolls'
Now, if you consider yourself a "bullied" victim, I'm sure you're thinking, "Mean users still really hurt my feelings, nonetheless!" Which, I understand. However, don't ignore the fact that you can leave the chatroom at any time you please. No one is holding you there. If verbal abuse is upsetting you, leave. I believe that many users have a difficult time letting go of their pride to do this, because it gives them a feeling that they're giving up, and that the troll has won...If the troll bothers you in the first place, (s)he's already won.

Trolls feed off your sadness and frustration. If you keep feeding them, they'll want more. They wont stop until they're full. By feeding, I'm implying responding to the troll--no matter what the response is. If you insist not to leave the chatroom: Ignorance is the best policy. Trolls will give up upon no response to their teases. Ignorance does involve a backbone--which, no one is born with. You must learn to hold your tongue, and let any backhand remarks roll off your back. Start whispering a friend in the room to ignore the troll, or watch youtube.

Defending your friends

Although this sounds noble and the right thing to do, I do NOT advise doing this. Arguing with a troll gets you no where but striked (Using Plaza terms). Don't "bully the bully", otherwise you've become the thing you've sought to stop--whether they deserve it or not. Often, I'll intervene on an argument of name-calling and insults in a chatroom, only to have one of the users involved with the insults saying: "I was defending my friend!" Now, it's wonderful that you care for your friend enough to defend them, and I'm sorry, but this doesn't give you the right to throw around insults. Sometimes, trolls (and bullies) do what they do because of a depressing situation which has happened to them. It's a method to blow off some steam...insulting these people can make them even worse, which is why I do not tolerate insults to anyone. Not to mention, arguing with the troll (insults or not) will not gain anything, only lose a bunch of precious time.

Instead of wasting time arguing with a troll (which is sometimes also a form of feeding it) and if you want to help your friend, comfort them. If they're upset, convince them that there's nothing to be upset about, because there ISN'T any reason to be upset. Trolls do what they do for fun. They don't mean anything personal against you, they only find joy in making people upset. Don't give trolls a reason to troll. I cannot say it enough: If you get upset, they'll keep trolling you!

I'm not closing my eyes to true bullying, because that DOES happen. However, I do not want to hear the term "cyber-bullied" ever again. There is no such thing. I do feel sympathetic to those of you who are bothered by trolls, and bullied by bullies in your school and what not; however instead of pulling out your guns to "stop bullying", you need to suit up in armor first, otherwise you wont get anywhere.

We are all 'trolled' at some point in our lives, and some of us were/are trolls. I'm not speaking in vain, because I know what it was like to be trolled and to be a troll. I can proudly put those ALL of those days behind me now. I'm not saying no one ever upsets me anymore, It just doesn't weigh on my soul as it used to.

And this concludes my rant. Thank you for your time.
._.

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SackThing101 (2013-11-12 19:01:19)

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o-o

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Mai (2013-11-12 20:18:53)

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o - o ..

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Cow (2013-11-12 20:40:01)

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I always thought it was cyber bullying but this makes more since that it would be called trolling...But what about when people say rude comments to your face like "Your fat" that wouldn't be counted as trolling because trolling is an internet thing

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Nin10dude789 (2013-11-12 21:11:34)

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Bulling is a true problem on this generation, but cyber bulling? It's stupid.

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Lani (2013-11-12 21:41:39)

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@Cow

Again, a comment like: "You're fat" is just an insult, but not bullying. It is not a remark intended to intimate you to do things they want you to do, or give them any measure of dominance--which is what bullying is.

And yes bullying is a real problem--In reality. Not on the internet. Even if people are insulting you in reality, it's not bullying until they make it physical, or inflict threats.

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Cow (2013-11-12 22:12:16)

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I have dealt with allot of rude remarks about the way I dress my weight my hair name anything I've been called it before. One time someone called me a w**** because I had big boobs. I just learned to ignore it you can't please everyone and besides if someone really bases everything off your looks why would you want to hang around them? Especially someone off the internet who is trolling you. It's just not worth the time.

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Lani (2013-11-12 23:17:38)

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This has actually been on my mind for some time now, especially due to many users whining that they should be moderators so they can stop people who bully them...

Also, I'd like to say that the pls stop buling thread was created after mine. The time frames prove my point:

pls stop buling(2013-11-12 21:53:37)
"Bullying" (mine) ((2013-11-12 17:41:31)

This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:
2013-11-12 23:18:15

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Perfect_Chaos (2013-11-12 23:43:11)

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Cyber-bullying would be like texting. By the way did you know videos against bullying only increased it?

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