5 Users appreciate this thread.
Super_~_Junior. (2013-07-02 06:19:38)I am gonna be honest, This an AMAZING first time story. It's an amazing story. 10/10 For sure. It has perfect detailing, And perfect timing. It's not a pointless long story but it's not a short jumpy story. It's just wonderful. Keep going on with the story. It has great plot.
3DLuigiMario (2013-07-21 05:22:28)AND THE BEST STORY EVER AWARD GOES TO.....
Lord Dimmy!
[IMG]http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/t/aticum.gif?8[/IMG]Dimentio (2014-07-10 09:59:14)
I'm the smart one~
[IMG]http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/t/aticum.gif?8[/IMG]Dimentio (2014-07-10 09:59:14)
I'm the smart one~
FireAngel (2013-08-06 17:34:24)IMPORTANT:Continued from page 1!
A bright light flashed on me from above as I opened my eyes slightly, confused as to where I was and why. I distinguished distorted voices that were viciously repeating, "Open it..." As the moment of confusion subsided the voices changed to two that I recognized. It was those of Marc and Angie demanding if I was unharmed. My side was hurting as if I landed on a circlish type of medium-sized stone and my arm was leaking blood from smaller, razor-sharp rocks that had ripped through my windbreaker. Memory of the preceding events came back to my mind bit by bit as Mark let down a rope for me grab onto and escape this strange rectangular hole.
Once out, the air felt heavier to breath as the fog was still partially in place. I was able to tell it was night time now which let me believe I must have been down in that hole for a while. I flinched as Angie tried to wrap some type of cloth around my wounded arm in surprise and pain letting out a weird groan. As she was doing that I spun my head around to look back at the hole which I was trapped in moments ago. It was awfully similar to a grave but the depth was atleast twice as much as a conventional one. I asked for Marc to point his flashlight down the hole.
Marc rushed to it and I could not have been more surprised to see many reflections of my face staring back at me in awe. It was a large, rectangular, shattered mirror with a doorknob upon its right side. Marc was so startled that he dropped the flashlight to the earthy ground. Instinctively, I directed my eyes towards where the light was pointing and lay my eyes upon the gravestone that stood before the grave like hole. Carved into the stone was the phrase, "May you never rest in peace, Elysa Kerian."
[Note: Sorry for not being able to write everything on the first page, I will continue writing where it is written "Reserved" from now on. Thanks for reading up to here my suspense-hungry readers!
I really hope you enjoyed! 
]
This post has been edited one or more times, the last time was:2013-08-08 01:51:43
"I'm not growing up, I'm just burning out..." 
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[Note: This is the first thing i'm writing, please don't be too harsh on me and I hope you enjoy it! ^.^]
It was many years ago on a casual autumn day that my story begins. The leaves had lost their vivid green colors and had fallen leaving only what seemed to be brown skeleton-like figures growing from the ground. The sun was hidden behind an endless ocean of grey clouds and the wind blew fiercely as if the sky was screaming in pain. I wasn't really sure why I loved that time of the year, probably because everything was so gloomy and lifeless, it made me feel alive. At that time I was an innocent child aged 12 maybe 13, I still had much to learn about life's wonders as well as its darkness...
I had a few good friends that I liked being with, one of which was named Marc-Anthony but we called him Marc for short. He was the type that excelled in sports, he was pretty tall for his age and protected me when I needed him to. The other was Angie, she was the tomboyish kind of girl and was hard-headed at times but pretty smart.
We were planning to visit an old, abandoned, Victorian-styled house that was about 25 minutes away in biking distance. This house was no ordinary house, I had read in the local newspaper of the horrible tragedy which was forced onto the Kerian family. The mother had found her 15 year old daughter Elysa, hung in the basement while she was going down to put some clothes in the washing machine. It may seem like a normal suicide at first but the one weird thing about it was that the rope that was around her neck was in fact not a rope but her own spine. Elysa's parents moved out the following week and no one has lived there since then. The local police wouldn't give any additional information about the subject and it was classified top secret. Some may think we were crazy to want to go explore such a place; others would have fallen for curiosity as we had.
I had thrown on a windbreaker and tied my shoes before walking outside to unlock the chain keeping my rusted bicycle from being stolen. The bicycle served it's purpose well but I doubted that would be enough for anyone to steal that piece of junk. Mark, Angie and I were meeting at the corner of the street to set off to explore the abandoned house.
[Note: Thank you for reading so far!
----------(Update)----------
[Note: Thank you for all your lovely comments, I really appreciate!
I pedaled as fast as I could to keep up with Marc while Angie tagged along behind me. We had been going at it for a good 10 minutes and finally reached the gate to the cemetery. This was the only path to the road leading to the abandoned house without taking a two hour detour. The rusted gate seemed to be reaching for the sky and was covered with vines that had spent years climbing upon it.
We got off our bikes, Marc letting his crash to the ground and attempted to force the gate open with brutal movements but was unsuccessful. It appeared the roots of the vines locked the gate in place as if it were a sign telling us to go back while it was still time. Angie pushed Marc aside and knelt down to examine the roots more carefully. I noticed fog was starting to form and the sound of crows shrieking in the distance could be heard sending chills down my spine. I turned back quickly and saw Angie throwing some moss behind her to then start cutting through the roots with a pocketknife.
Marc successfully pushing the humongous gate open that time, revealing a new world to our little group. The fog had heavily thickened rendering us unable to perceive anything more than three meters in front of us. We got back onto our bikes and slowly advanced through the gate. We followed the hardly distinguishable path when suddenly I felt a cold, boney hand set onto my shoulder that froze my blood in a second. Panic took over reason, I let out one most terrifying scream and pedaled as fast as I possibly could passing Marc and Angie. My heart was beating in sinc with the sound of my tires hitting every imperfection in the ground. I saw a tombstone in my way but it was too late to avoid the collision. Before I knew it I was airborne and fell in a large hole head first which knocked me unconscious.
[Note: I hoped you enjoyed this part just as much as the first! ^.^ If you did don't forget to appreciate it.
----------(Update)----------
[Note: I'm really overjoyed that so far I have received only positive comments, cheers everyone! (: I would like to apologize that I haven't worked on this story for a while I have been really busy. Without further delay here is the next part, enjoy! ;D]
IMPORTANT: Go to the bottom of page 2 for the next part!
2013-08-08 01:49:17