4 Users appreciate this thread.
Gamzee (2013-12-08 16:06:19)8
I paced around for hours on empty,
Jumped at the slightest of sounds.
I couldn't stand the person inside me,
I turned all the mirrors around.
dreamcrusher (2013-12-24 18:50:10)your slow alexander
"There is a meaning to everyone's madness, Even if it is hard to understand."
dreamcrusher (2013-12-28 23:40:12)10
"There is a meaning to everyone's madness, Even if it is hard to understand."
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Newest registered user: Sdeck2
Great story, but the format just kills it.
- separates action from dialogue.
Brackets separate dialogue between character and action.
I suggest you go more for a "book style" approach in format.